I'm not going to complete this list. Not this time around, anyway. And it bothers me to no end. I'm trying to decide whether to keep going until the original end date (28 June 2010) or do a hard re-set and start again. Day Zero had mentioned something about "if you start your list on 5 April 2010, the last date will be 31 December 2012", which somehow has a nice symmetry to it.
Either way, I plan on making another list. I have discovered that although the things were very cut and dried, with little to no vagueness, I'm thinking that not having several steps to one thing is the way to go.
In any case, here's where I am right now:
1. Take boxes of books to Half Price (Done 10/19/07)
2. Donate hair to Locks of Love (Done 1/3/08)
3. Summer Break 2008- see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5)(Done 9/1/2008)
4. Build new house (Done 10/11/2008)
5. Get mutual funds transferred (Done 4/1/08)
6. Donate $1000 to Higher Ground (Done 12/8/07)
7. Watch Season 2 of 'Digging for the Truth' (Done 7/19/2008)
8. Choose 2 kids from church's Jesse Tree @ Christmas and buy them presents (Done 12/6/08)
9. Replant plant on towel shelf (Done 6/6/08)
10. Listen to Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
(Completely Done 3/20/08)
11. Edit a Wikipedia article (Done 9/4/2008: did the Winsted, Minnesota article)
12. Type out Goodwill donation tax slip (Done 3/4/08)
13. Get eyes checked (done 8/26/2008)
14. Make a 20 item anti-procrastination list (done 7/15/08)
15. Do all 20 anti-procrastination list items within the month (done 8/15/2008)
16. Do Advent readings and wreath (Completed: 1/7/09; Advent lasts through Epiphany)
17. Over Christmas Break 2007 see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5, done 1/7/08)
18. Clean up computer document files (Done: 12/30/08)
19. Read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (done 8/19/2008)
20. Catalog 25 books on LibraryThing (done 7/14/08)
21. Walk to work 30 times (30/30: Done 9/12/2008)
22. Send my mother in law flowers just because (done 8/5/2008)
23. Read all the Josephine Tey books (Done 12/23/08)
24. Read entire Inspector Rebus series (3/18)
25. Graduate with MLIS degree (target date: May 2010)
26. Watch 101 movies in theater or at home (46/101)
27. Complete 23 More Things
28. Read 20 of 100 All Time Classics (Modern Library) that I haven't read already (4/20)
29. Visit 5 art galleries in Minnesota (3/5)
30. Watch 10 documentaries (6/10)
31. Upload all my CD's to my iTunes
32. Update FLYControl Journal (waiting for life insurance information)
33. Write 3 letters complimenting good service (2/3)
34. Write 3 letters pointing out bad service (2/3)
35. Complete a crossword puzzle book
36. Visit 10 other libraries in my system I haven't been to yet
37. Write wills
38. Have new family picture taken
39. Send Christmas Cards with family photograph
40. Design library webpage & link to system and city
41. Beat PSX2 game Galaga
42. Watch all the seasons of '24'
43. Go to a Latin Mass
44. Plant 5 trees in yard (2/5)
45. Clothing 1
46. Learn how to play Cribbage
47. Bike around the lake
48. Get important documents in fire proof box
49. Fly first class as a family
50. Go see 5 Minnesota Tourist attractions
51. Get new glasses (or contacts)
52. Host big family Christmas (Done 26 December 2010)
53. Frame tree picture
54. Watch a Cowboys/Vikings game in Dallas
55. Watch Cowboys/Vikings game in Minnesota
56. Read 5 Biographies
57. Frame black & white pictures of the ocean and hang up
58. Learn the Rosary prayers
59. Walk everyday for 30 minutes for 1 week.
60. Host a Summer Croquet tournament
61. Link library webpage to librarysites
62. Health 1
63. Health 2
64. Health 3
65. Health 4
66. Watch all Seasons of MI-5
67. Read Twilight Series (3/4)
68. Read 5 Non-fiction books (3/5)
69. Read Inspector Lynley Series
70. Pay off and close Chase Visa. (APR adjustment, indeed)
71. Draw a master landscaping plan for yard
72. Get a chair for my library
73. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on FreeRice (13,700/1,000,000)
74. Donate 5 trees from answer4earth (5/5) (Done 16 July 2009)
75. Up Emergency Fund to 3 months salary
76. Get rockers/outdoor furniture for front porch
77. Make a 10 item anti-procrastination list (Done 5/23/09)
78. Do all 10 anti-procrastination list items within the month
79. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2004 (0/5)
80. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2005 (1/4)
81. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2006 (3/15)
82. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2007 (1/13)
83. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2008 (1/14)
84. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2009 (3/22)
85. Get curtains hung in last 2 bedrooms
86. Get a new desk/shelving unit for home library
87. Finish Kid’s room
88. Hang up 5 pictures
89. Donate to the Food Shelf 7 times ($25 or equivalent) (3/7)
90. Do the Locks of Love one more time
91. Leave a 100% tip 3 times (2/3)
92. Donate 50 of my books to the library (without reading them 1st) (50/50) (done 15 August 2009)
93. Put a $50 bill in the second collection basket (Done 14 November 2009)
94. Read the “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series by Lemony Snicket (8/13)
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finish writing this list--Again
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Getting Things Done
Nah, I don't mean the "Getting Things Done" David Allen style, although I do like that way of thinking. Sort of.
No, I mean doing the right thing by speaking up...even when I didn't really want to.
So, this class I'm taking. The one I didn't WANT to take, but have to if I want my accredited degree sometime this year. It's called 'Organization of Information' and is one of the 4 beginning core classes that UW-M inflicts upon all its beginning MLIS/SOIS students. Notice I said BEGINNING. Uh, yeah.
I've been at this MLIS thing for 3 years now. I'm NOT a beginner, not by any stretch. I'm not an expert (yet...wait 'til I get that piece of paper) either, especially not in anything remotely to do with ORGANIZATION.
But because I've been at this for so freaking long, I'm also not as apt to go along to get along. Well, alright, it's not like I ever really have anyway...BUT. I can (and have) just put my head down & do the work, and count down the days until I can be done. Even when the professor OBVIOUSLY got dropped on his/her head once too often as a kid. Even when I KNOW that "this is how it works in the real library world" is just plain wrong. Even when every fiber of my being is thinking, "It's not too late to become an accountant like your momma wanted you to become...".
But not this time.
See, in this class, the one I'm (as well as a good number of St Kate's expats) being tortured with, it was supposed to be a "special edition" for us because we've already taken cataloging (one of St Kate's 4 core classes). Apparently, special=the professor can ignore us because she's busy with conferences. Apparently, special=the professor can grade an exercise and take points off for things that she never specified. Apparently, special=no matter how many posts we do in the forum, there is no further discussion about said exercise, and how we did exactly what the instructions say to do, using the exact model given, with the exact elements present in the lecture. This class has definitely made my top 3 "Worst Classes EVER" list. And that's saying something.
I first asked (sort of nicely) in the forums, "So, what is it you want here?" No answer. "Helloooo?" No answer. To be fair, I did get one from the grad assistant, "Uh, sorry, but I can't help you. I'm not the final authority in this class." After being ignored, I decided to escalate to the next level.
I write a nice e-mail, send it, and wait. And get, "Uh, sorry, but I can't help you. Good luck, though!" back. He even thoughtfully cc'd the professor WITH MY ORIGINAL E-MAIL STILL ATTACHED in the interests of "transparency." I heartily wish I'dve told him, "Dude, if I wanted "transparency", I'd buy some tape"...alas, I did not. This same guy had done the same thing to a classmate of mine (cc'd the professor w/HER original e-mail still attached), who then had a panic attack, because let's face it. We were soooo screwed. Our chances of actually PASSING the class were slim and none, and Slim just caught the last train to Georgia.
And with that, I had nothing to lose. What's the worst that could happen? I'd have to re-take the class? I'd have to transfer back to St Kate's & wait another year to graduate? Pssshhht. Whatever. I remember my Mom telling me a line from one of her favorite movies, "Road House." It's when Patrick Swayze is brought in to be a cooler at the Double Deuce. "Be nice. Be nice until it's time to not be nice."
It was time to be nice.
So, I figured out the hierarchy in the program, figured my best bet would be to just go to the top and work my way down, and fired off an e-mail to the Dean. Who answered me back...and wanted to set up a time to call me and talk to me. Huh. Well, now.
He called, we talked, I laid out our grievances thus far. He said, "Well, she's our best professor for this, and we've never had any complaints." I shot back, "Maybe that's because most people who take this class are just starting their program and don't know the difference. We aren't, and we do." I did say that things have been getting better, and he thanked me for my fairness and added that he really hadn't known what to expect from me--would I yell? Would I rant and rave? I could, if that's what he wanted, but I figured that it would be counter-productive.
My favorite part was when he said, "Tell me what you want to have happen. Tell me what you would like her to do." Mentally, I'm all like, "Dude, first off, I took Management as one of my core classes, so I know what you're doing here. Secondly, I'm a MOM. Do you REALLY think I'm that dense? Third, ahahahahahahahaha...OK." Anyway, we got things worked out for the most part. Hopefully things will be better.
If not, then it's time to not be nice.
No, I mean doing the right thing by speaking up...even when I didn't really want to.
So, this class I'm taking. The one I didn't WANT to take, but have to if I want my accredited degree sometime this year. It's called 'Organization of Information' and is one of the 4 beginning core classes that UW-M inflicts upon all its beginning MLIS/SOIS students. Notice I said BEGINNING. Uh, yeah.
I've been at this MLIS thing for 3 years now. I'm NOT a beginner, not by any stretch. I'm not an expert (yet...wait 'til I get that piece of paper) either, especially not in anything remotely to do with ORGANIZATION.
But because I've been at this for so freaking long, I'm also not as apt to go along to get along. Well, alright, it's not like I ever really have anyway...BUT. I can (and have) just put my head down & do the work, and count down the days until I can be done. Even when the professor OBVIOUSLY got dropped on his/her head once too often as a kid. Even when I KNOW that "this is how it works in the real library world" is just plain wrong. Even when every fiber of my being is thinking, "It's not too late to become an accountant like your momma wanted you to become...".
But not this time.
See, in this class, the one I'm (as well as a good number of St Kate's expats) being tortured with, it was supposed to be a "special edition" for us because we've already taken cataloging (one of St Kate's 4 core classes). Apparently, special=the professor can ignore us because she's busy with conferences. Apparently, special=the professor can grade an exercise and take points off for things that she never specified. Apparently, special=no matter how many posts we do in the forum, there is no further discussion about said exercise, and how we did exactly what the instructions say to do, using the exact model given, with the exact elements present in the lecture. This class has definitely made my top 3 "Worst Classes EVER" list. And that's saying something.
I first asked (sort of nicely) in the forums, "So, what is it you want here?" No answer. "Helloooo?" No answer. To be fair, I did get one from the grad assistant, "Uh, sorry, but I can't help you. I'm not the final authority in this class." After being ignored, I decided to escalate to the next level.
I write a nice e-mail, send it, and wait. And get, "Uh, sorry, but I can't help you. Good luck, though!" back. He even thoughtfully cc'd the professor WITH MY ORIGINAL E-MAIL STILL ATTACHED in the interests of "transparency." I heartily wish I'dve told him, "Dude, if I wanted "transparency", I'd buy some tape"...alas, I did not. This same guy had done the same thing to a classmate of mine (cc'd the professor w/HER original e-mail still attached), who then had a panic attack, because let's face it. We were soooo screwed. Our chances of actually PASSING the class were slim and none, and Slim just caught the last train to Georgia.
And with that, I had nothing to lose. What's the worst that could happen? I'd have to re-take the class? I'd have to transfer back to St Kate's & wait another year to graduate? Pssshhht. Whatever. I remember my Mom telling me a line from one of her favorite movies, "Road House." It's when Patrick Swayze is brought in to be a cooler at the Double Deuce. "Be nice. Be nice until it's time to not be nice."
It was time to be nice.
So, I figured out the hierarchy in the program, figured my best bet would be to just go to the top and work my way down, and fired off an e-mail to the Dean. Who answered me back...and wanted to set up a time to call me and talk to me. Huh. Well, now.
He called, we talked, I laid out our grievances thus far. He said, "Well, she's our best professor for this, and we've never had any complaints." I shot back, "Maybe that's because most people who take this class are just starting their program and don't know the difference. We aren't, and we do." I did say that things have been getting better, and he thanked me for my fairness and added that he really hadn't known what to expect from me--would I yell? Would I rant and rave? I could, if that's what he wanted, but I figured that it would be counter-productive.
My favorite part was when he said, "Tell me what you want to have happen. Tell me what you would like her to do." Mentally, I'm all like, "Dude, first off, I took Management as one of my core classes, so I know what you're doing here. Secondly, I'm a MOM. Do you REALLY think I'm that dense? Third, ahahahahahahahaha...OK." Anyway, we got things worked out for the most part. Hopefully things will be better.
If not, then it's time to not be nice.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
101 Things in 1001 Days: February 2010 Edition
1. Take boxes of books to Half Price (Done 10/19/07)
2. Donate hair to Locks of Love (Done 1/3/08)
3. Summer Break 2008- see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5)(Done 9/1/2008)
4. Build new house (Done 10/11/2008)
5. Get mutual funds transferred (Done 4/1/08)
6. Donate $1000 to Higher Ground (Done 12/8/07)
7. Watch Season 2 of 'Digging for the Truth' (Done 7/19/2008)
8. Choose 2 kids from church's Jesse Tree @ Christmas and buy them presents (Done 12/6/08)
9. Replant plant on towel shelf (Done 6/6/08)
10. Listen to Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
(Completely Done 3/20/08)
11. Edit a Wikipedia article (Done 9/4/2008: did the Winsted, Minnesota article)
12. Type out Goodwill donation tax slip (Done 3/4/08)
13. Get eyes checked (done 8/26/2008)
14. Make a 20 item anti-procrastination list (done 7/15/08)
15. Do all 20 anti-procrastination list items within the month (done 8/15/2008)
16. Do Advent readings and wreath (Completed: 1/7/09; Advent lasts through Epiphany)
17. Over Christmas Break 2007 see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5, done 1/7/08)
18. Clean up computer document files (Done: 12/30/08)
19. Read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (done 8/19/2008)
20. Catalog 25 books on LibraryThing (done 7/14/08)
21. Walk to work 30 times (30/30: Done 9/12/2008)
22. Send my mother in law flowers just because (done 8/5/2008)
23. Read all the Josephine Tey books (Done 12/23/08)
24. Read entire Inspector Rebus series (3/18)
25. Graduate with MLIS degree (target date: May 2010)
26. Watch 101 movies in theater or at home (46/101)
27. Complete 23 More Things
28. Read 20 of 100 All Time Classics (Modern Library) that I haven't read already (4/20)
29. Visit 5 art galleries in Minnesota (3/5)
30. Watch 10 documentaries (6/10)
31. Upload all my CD's to my iTunes
32. Update FLYControl Journal (waiting for life insurance information)
33. Write 3 letters complimenting good service (2/3)
34. Write 3 letters pointing out bad service (2/3)
35. Complete a crossword puzzle book
36. Visit 10 other libraries in my system I haven't been to yet
37. Write wills
38. Have new family picture taken
39. Send Christmas Cards with family photograph
40. Design library webpage & link to system and city
41. Beat PSX2 game Galaga
42. Watch all the seasons of '24'
43. Go to a Latin Mass
44. Plant 5 trees in yard (2/5)
45. Clothing 1
46. Learn how to play Cribbage
47. Bike around the lake
48. Get important documents in fire proof box
49. Fly first class as a family
50. Go see 5 Minnesota Tourist attractions
51. Get new glasses (or contacts)
52. Host big family Christmas (Done 26 December 2010)
53. Frame tree picture
54. Watch a Cowboys/Vikings game in Dallas
55. Watch Cowboys/Vikings game in Minnesota
56. Read 5 Biographies
57. Frame black & white pictures of the ocean and hang up
58. Learn the Rosary prayers
59. Walk everyday for 30 minutes for 1 week.
60. Host a Summer Croquet tournament
61. Link library webpage to librarysites
62. Health 1
63. Health 2
64. Health 3
65. Health 4
66. Watch all Seasons of MI-5
67. Read Twilight Series (3/4)
68. Read 5 Non-fiction books (2/5)
69. Read Inspector Lynley Series
70. Pay off and close Chase Visa. (APR adjustment, indeed)
71. Draw a master landscaping plan for yard
72. Get a chair for my library
73. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on FreeRice (13,700/1,000,000)
74. Donate 5 trees from answer4earth (5/5) (Done 16 July 2009)
75. Up Emergency Fund to 3 months salary
76. Get rockers/outdoor furniture for front porch
77. Make a 10 item anti-procrastination list (Done 5/23/09)
78. Do all 10 anti-procrastination list items within the month
79. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2004 (0/5)
80. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2005 (1/4)
81. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2006 (3/15)
82. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2007 (1/13)
83. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2008 (0/14)
84. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2009 (3/22)
85. Get curtains hung in last 2 bedrooms
86. Get a new desk/shelving unit for home library
87. Finish Kid’s room
88. Hang up 5 pictures
89. Donate to the Food Shelf 7 times ($25 or equivalent) (3/7)
90. Do the Locks of Love one more time
91. Leave a 100% tip 3 times (2/3)
92. Donate 50 of my books to the library (without reading them 1st) (50/50) (done 15 August 2009)
93. Put a $50 bill in the second collection basket (Done 14 November 2009)
94. Read the “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series by Lemony Snicket (6/13)
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finish writing this list--Again
2. Donate hair to Locks of Love (Done 1/3/08)
3. Summer Break 2008- see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5)(Done 9/1/2008)
4. Build new house (Done 10/11/2008)
5. Get mutual funds transferred (Done 4/1/08)
6. Donate $1000 to Higher Ground (Done 12/8/07)
7. Watch Season 2 of 'Digging for the Truth' (Done 7/19/2008)
8. Choose 2 kids from church's Jesse Tree @ Christmas and buy them presents (Done 12/6/08)
9. Replant plant on towel shelf (Done 6/6/08)
10. Listen to Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
(Completely Done 3/20/08)
11. Edit a Wikipedia article (Done 9/4/2008: did the Winsted, Minnesota article)
12. Type out Goodwill donation tax slip (Done 3/4/08)
13. Get eyes checked (done 8/26/2008)
14. Make a 20 item anti-procrastination list (done 7/15/08)
15. Do all 20 anti-procrastination list items within the month (done 8/15/2008)
16. Do Advent readings and wreath (Completed: 1/7/09; Advent lasts through Epiphany)
17. Over Christmas Break 2007 see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5, done 1/7/08)
18. Clean up computer document files (Done: 12/30/08)
19. Read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (done 8/19/2008)
20. Catalog 25 books on LibraryThing (done 7/14/08)
21. Walk to work 30 times (30/30: Done 9/12/2008)
22. Send my mother in law flowers just because (done 8/5/2008)
23. Read all the Josephine Tey books (Done 12/23/08)
24. Read entire Inspector Rebus series (3/18)
25. Graduate with MLIS degree (target date: May 2010)
26. Watch 101 movies in theater or at home (46/101)
27. Complete 23 More Things
28. Read 20 of 100 All Time Classics (Modern Library) that I haven't read already (4/20)
29. Visit 5 art galleries in Minnesota (3/5)
30. Watch 10 documentaries (6/10)
31. Upload all my CD's to my iTunes
32. Update FLYControl Journal (waiting for life insurance information)
33. Write 3 letters complimenting good service (2/3)
34. Write 3 letters pointing out bad service (2/3)
35. Complete a crossword puzzle book
36. Visit 10 other libraries in my system I haven't been to yet
37. Write wills
38. Have new family picture taken
39. Send Christmas Cards with family photograph
40. Design library webpage & link to system and city
41. Beat PSX2 game Galaga
42. Watch all the seasons of '24'
43. Go to a Latin Mass
44. Plant 5 trees in yard (2/5)
45. Clothing 1
46. Learn how to play Cribbage
47. Bike around the lake
48. Get important documents in fire proof box
49. Fly first class as a family
50. Go see 5 Minnesota Tourist attractions
51. Get new glasses (or contacts)
52. Host big family Christmas (Done 26 December 2010)
53. Frame tree picture
54. Watch a Cowboys/Vikings game in Dallas
55. Watch Cowboys/Vikings game in Minnesota
56. Read 5 Biographies
57. Frame black & white pictures of the ocean and hang up
58. Learn the Rosary prayers
59. Walk everyday for 30 minutes for 1 week.
60. Host a Summer Croquet tournament
61. Link library webpage to librarysites
62. Health 1
63. Health 2
64. Health 3
65. Health 4
66. Watch all Seasons of MI-5
67. Read Twilight Series (3/4)
68. Read 5 Non-fiction books (2/5)
69. Read Inspector Lynley Series
70. Pay off and close Chase Visa. (APR adjustment, indeed)
71. Draw a master landscaping plan for yard
72. Get a chair for my library
73. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on FreeRice (13,700/1,000,000)
74. Donate 5 trees from answer4earth (5/5) (Done 16 July 2009)
75. Up Emergency Fund to 3 months salary
76. Get rockers/outdoor furniture for front porch
77. Make a 10 item anti-procrastination list (Done 5/23/09)
78. Do all 10 anti-procrastination list items within the month
79. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2004 (0/5)
80. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2005 (1/4)
81. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2006 (3/15)
82. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2007 (1/13)
83. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2008 (0/14)
84. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2009 (3/22)
85. Get curtains hung in last 2 bedrooms
86. Get a new desk/shelving unit for home library
87. Finish Kid’s room
88. Hang up 5 pictures
89. Donate to the Food Shelf 7 times ($25 or equivalent) (3/7)
90. Do the Locks of Love one more time
91. Leave a 100% tip 3 times (2/3)
92. Donate 50 of my books to the library (without reading them 1st) (50/50) (done 15 August 2009)
93. Put a $50 bill in the second collection basket (Done 14 November 2009)
94. Read the “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series by Lemony Snicket (6/13)
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finish writing this list--Again
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Words to Live By
Yeah, we all have them. You know, words that are so deeply embedded into our being that we don't always know where they came from, but still manage to affect much of what we do...or don't do.
I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks, ever since I got my first B+ in grad school...and only the second in this round of college. At first I was ticked because I (thought) that I'd done a good job participating and designing my final project. Then, I was really ticked when I figured out my total points and realized that I'd missed an A- by 1 point. One. Freaking. Point.
Then my friend, Chris, who seems to be my Jiminy Cricket sometimes, reminded me that 1) I was now done with the class, 2) I'd passed, and 3) I really wasn't on board with the "B and done" philosophy that I claimed to espouse.
And you know, once again, he's right.
Why can't I just be happy with the whole "B and done" mentality? It'd make my life (and those suffering through grad school with me) sooooo much easier. I wouldn't have to live life fueled by long nights and lots of Diet Coke. I might even be able to stop taking Prilosec a month at a time. I might even be able to live a semi-normal life. Such a concept...
Well, as I've been thinking about it, I finally figured out some of why I can't just let it go. Why that intensity seems almost hard-wired into my very essence sometimes. Why it's so damn hard to let go of the almost crippling perfectionism. It all comes down to words spoken so often to me as I was growing up.
Most people know that I was (am) an only child. (It was by choice that my parents only had one.) There were plenty of times that I wished they'd reconsidered and had more, especially when I got into trouble (frequently) and not ever being able to say, "It wasn't me! I didn't do it. It was _______", 'cause, yeah...that didn't fly. I know how many people think, "Yeah, whatever. Quit your whining, because you probably got everything you asked for." Mmmmm, I'd like to go on record as saying, "I wish." What they don't think about is that by being an only child, there wasn't anyone else to deflect the parental focus, and nowhere to hide. It wasn't so much that Mom & Dad expected perfection, because I don't think they did (which is good, because they sure didn't get it), rather they expected excellence. All the time.
I still remember when my Dad read the book In Search of Excellence. His favorite quote became, "If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" And, yes, if I didn't do it right, I did it over. Which sucked. I'm pretty quick on the uptake, so I learned to do things right the first time, because I damn sure didn't want to do them over. And over. And over.
My Mom's favorite quote, on the other hand, was "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." Anytime I'd say, "I can't" I'd hear it. Anytime I'd say something like, "I'm too dumb" or "I'll never understand this" or whatever, I'd hear it. Now, this could be a good thing, sure. But it didn't leave a whole lot of room for failure.
Other things I heard: Stay focused. Work hard. Never give up. You can cry and carry on later, but for now, you just gotta put your head down and get the job done. You give it your best, and then a little more. If you don't like how something is, change it--don't just stand there and bitch about it. Don't do things half-assed; either do them right or don't do them at all.
They all come down to one thing: Failure is not an option.
I think a person's favorite quotes speaks volumes about their core personality. Sometimes, the quotes mirror the inner, often unspoken dialogue s/he has internalized. They also illuminate not only what the person strives for, but also the instances in which they fall short.
For instance, some of mine are:
"Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves" -Hospitaler, 1185 AD
“When you’ve faced that moment and given everything you have, you let yourself realize that . . . your success or failure is not ultimately based on whether you triumphed, but in how you faced up to the challenge.”—Rich Wallace
It is not upon thee to finish the work; Neither art thou free to abstain from it.
-Talmud
"The question isn’t who is going to let me; It’s who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand
"I'm not interested in preserving the status quo; I want to overthrow it."
-Niccolo Machiavelli
But I'm also trying to incorporate "Progress, not perfection"; "B and Done"; and the whole idea of The Cult of Done. I keep tripping up on my own perfectionism, but I'll keep at it. 'Cause I damn sure don't want to do it over.
I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks, ever since I got my first B+ in grad school...and only the second in this round of college. At first I was ticked because I (thought) that I'd done a good job participating and designing my final project. Then, I was really ticked when I figured out my total points and realized that I'd missed an A- by 1 point. One. Freaking. Point.
Then my friend, Chris, who seems to be my Jiminy Cricket sometimes, reminded me that 1) I was now done with the class, 2) I'd passed, and 3) I really wasn't on board with the "B and done" philosophy that I claimed to espouse.
And you know, once again, he's right.
Why can't I just be happy with the whole "B and done" mentality? It'd make my life (and those suffering through grad school with me) sooooo much easier. I wouldn't have to live life fueled by long nights and lots of Diet Coke. I might even be able to stop taking Prilosec a month at a time. I might even be able to live a semi-normal life. Such a concept...
Well, as I've been thinking about it, I finally figured out some of why I can't just let it go. Why that intensity seems almost hard-wired into my very essence sometimes. Why it's so damn hard to let go of the almost crippling perfectionism. It all comes down to words spoken so often to me as I was growing up.
Most people know that I was (am) an only child. (It was by choice that my parents only had one.) There were plenty of times that I wished they'd reconsidered and had more, especially when I got into trouble (frequently) and not ever being able to say, "It wasn't me! I didn't do it. It was _______", 'cause, yeah...that didn't fly. I know how many people think, "Yeah, whatever. Quit your whining, because you probably got everything you asked for." Mmmmm, I'd like to go on record as saying, "I wish." What they don't think about is that by being an only child, there wasn't anyone else to deflect the parental focus, and nowhere to hide. It wasn't so much that Mom & Dad expected perfection, because I don't think they did (which is good, because they sure didn't get it), rather they expected excellence. All the time.
I still remember when my Dad read the book In Search of Excellence. His favorite quote became, "If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" And, yes, if I didn't do it right, I did it over. Which sucked. I'm pretty quick on the uptake, so I learned to do things right the first time, because I damn sure didn't want to do them over. And over. And over.
My Mom's favorite quote, on the other hand, was "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." Anytime I'd say, "I can't" I'd hear it. Anytime I'd say something like, "I'm too dumb" or "I'll never understand this" or whatever, I'd hear it. Now, this could be a good thing, sure. But it didn't leave a whole lot of room for failure.
Other things I heard: Stay focused. Work hard. Never give up. You can cry and carry on later, but for now, you just gotta put your head down and get the job done. You give it your best, and then a little more. If you don't like how something is, change it--don't just stand there and bitch about it. Don't do things half-assed; either do them right or don't do them at all.
They all come down to one thing: Failure is not an option.
I think a person's favorite quotes speaks volumes about their core personality. Sometimes, the quotes mirror the inner, often unspoken dialogue s/he has internalized. They also illuminate not only what the person strives for, but also the instances in which they fall short.
For instance, some of mine are:
"Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves" -Hospitaler, 1185 AD
“When you’ve faced that moment and given everything you have, you let yourself realize that . . . your success or failure is not ultimately based on whether you triumphed, but in how you faced up to the challenge.”—Rich Wallace
It is not upon thee to finish the work; Neither art thou free to abstain from it.
-Talmud
"The question isn’t who is going to let me; It’s who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand
"I'm not interested in preserving the status quo; I want to overthrow it."
-Niccolo Machiavelli
But I'm also trying to incorporate "Progress, not perfection"; "B and Done"; and the whole idea of The Cult of Done. I keep tripping up on my own perfectionism, but I'll keep at it. 'Cause I damn sure don't want to do it over.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
101 Things in 1001 Days: January 2010 Roundup
1. Take boxes of books to Half Price (Done 10/19/07)
2. Donate hair to Locks of Love (Done 1/3/08)
3. Summer Break 2008- see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5)(Done 9/1/2008)
4. Build new house (Done 10/11/2008)
5. Get mutual funds transferred (Done 4/1/08)
6. Donate $1000 to Higher Ground (Done 12/8/07)
7. Watch Season 2 of 'Digging for the Truth' (Done 7/19/2008)
8. Choose 2 kids from church's Jesse Tree @ Christmas and buy them presents (Done 12/6/08)
9. Replant plant on towel shelf (Done 6/6/08)
10. Listen to Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
(Completely Done 3/20/08)
11. Edit a Wikipedia article (Done 9/4/2008: did the Winsted, Minnesota article)
12. Type out Goodwill donation tax slip (Done 3/4/08)
13. Get eyes checked (done 8/26/2008)
14. Make a 20 item anti-procrastination list (done 7/15/08)
15. Do all 20 anti-procrastination list items within the month (done 8/15/2008)
16. Do Advent readings and wreath (Completed: 1/7/09; Advent lasts through Epiphany)
17. Over Christmas Break 2007 see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5, done 1/7/08)
18. Clean up computer document files (Done: 12/30/08)
19. Read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (done 8/19/2008)
20. Catalog 25 books on LibraryThing (done 7/14/08)
21. Walk to work 30 times (30/30: Done 9/12/2008)
22. Send my mother in law flowers just because (done 8/5/2008)
23. Read all the Josephine Tey books (Done 12/23/08)
24. Read entire Inspector Rebus series (3/18)
25. Graduate with MLIS degree (target date: May 2010)
26. Watch 101 movies in theater or at home (44/101)
27. Complete 23 More Things
28. Read 20 of 100 All Time Classics (Modern Library) that I haven't read already (4/20)
29. Visit 5 art galleries in Minnesota (3/5)
30. Watch 10 documentaries (6/10)
31. Upload all my CD's to my iTunes
32. Update FLYControl Journal (waiting for life insurance information)
33. Write 3 letters complimenting good service (2/3)
34. Write 3 letters pointing out bad service (2/3)
35. Complete a crossword puzzle book
36. Visit 10 other libraries in my system I haven't been to yet
37. Write wills
38. Have new family picture taken
39. Send Christmas Cards with family photograph
40. Design library webpage & link to system and city
41. Beat PSX2 game Galaga
42. Watch all the seasons of '24'
43. Go to a Latin Mass
44. Plant 5 trees in yard (2/5)
45. Clothing 1
46. Learn how to play Cribbage
47. Bike around the lake
48. Get important documents in fire proof box
49. Fly first class as a family
50. Go see 5 Minnesota Tourist attractions
51. Get new glasses (or contacts)
52. Host big family Christmas (Done 26 December 2010)
53. Frame tree picture
54. Watch a Cowboys/Vikings game in Dallas
55. Watch Cowboys/Vikings game in Minnesota
56. Read 5 Biographies
57. Frame black & white pictures of the ocean and hang up
58. Learn the Rosary prayers
59. Walk everyday for 30 minutes for 1 week.
60. Host a Summer Croquet tournament
61. Link library webpage to librarysites
62. Health 1
63. Health 2
64. Health 3
65. Health 4
66. Watch all Seasons of MI-5
67. Read Twilight Series (3/4)
68. Read 5 Non-fiction books (2/5)
69. Read Inspector Lynley Series
70. Pay off and close Chase Visa. (APR adjustment, indeed)
71. Draw a master landscaping plan for yard
72. Get a chair for my library
73. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on FreeRice (13,700/1,000,000)
74. Donate 5 trees from answer4earth (5/5) (Done 16 July 2009)
75. Up Emergency Fund to 3 months salary
76. Get rockers/outdoor furniture for front porch
77. Make a 10 item anti-procrastination list (Done 5/23/09)
78. Do all 10 anti-procrastination list items within the month
79. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2004 (0/5)
80. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2005 (0/4)
81. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2006 (3/15)
82. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2007 (1/13)
83. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2008 (0/14)
84. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2009 (3/22)
85. Get curtains hung in last 2 bedrooms
86. Get a new desk/shelving unit for home library
87. Finish Kid’s room
88. Hang up 5 pictures
89. Donate to the Food Shelf 7 times ($25 or equivalent) (1/7)
90. Do the Locks of Love one more time
91. Leave a 100% tip 3 times (2/3)
92. Donate 50 of my books to the library (without reading them 1st) (50/50) (done 15 August 2009)
93. Put a $50 bill in the second collection basket (Done 14 November 2009)
94. Read the “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series by Lemony Snicket (6/13)
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finish writing this list--Again
2. Donate hair to Locks of Love (Done 1/3/08)
3. Summer Break 2008- see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5)(Done 9/1/2008)
4. Build new house (Done 10/11/2008)
5. Get mutual funds transferred (Done 4/1/08)
6. Donate $1000 to Higher Ground (Done 12/8/07)
7. Watch Season 2 of 'Digging for the Truth' (Done 7/19/2008)
8. Choose 2 kids from church's Jesse Tree @ Christmas and buy them presents (Done 12/6/08)
9. Replant plant on towel shelf (Done 6/6/08)
10. Listen to Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
(Completely Done 3/20/08)
11. Edit a Wikipedia article (Done 9/4/2008: did the Winsted, Minnesota article)
12. Type out Goodwill donation tax slip (Done 3/4/08)
13. Get eyes checked (done 8/26/2008)
14. Make a 20 item anti-procrastination list (done 7/15/08)
15. Do all 20 anti-procrastination list items within the month (done 8/15/2008)
16. Do Advent readings and wreath (Completed: 1/7/09; Advent lasts through Epiphany)
17. Over Christmas Break 2007 see 5 first run movies in theater (5/5, done 1/7/08)
18. Clean up computer document files (Done: 12/30/08)
19. Read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (done 8/19/2008)
20. Catalog 25 books on LibraryThing (done 7/14/08)
21. Walk to work 30 times (30/30: Done 9/12/2008)
22. Send my mother in law flowers just because (done 8/5/2008)
23. Read all the Josephine Tey books (Done 12/23/08)
24. Read entire Inspector Rebus series (3/18)
25. Graduate with MLIS degree (target date: May 2010)
26. Watch 101 movies in theater or at home (44/101)
27. Complete 23 More Things
28. Read 20 of 100 All Time Classics (Modern Library) that I haven't read already (4/20)
29. Visit 5 art galleries in Minnesota (3/5)
30. Watch 10 documentaries (6/10)
31. Upload all my CD's to my iTunes
32. Update FLYControl Journal (waiting for life insurance information)
33. Write 3 letters complimenting good service (2/3)
34. Write 3 letters pointing out bad service (2/3)
35. Complete a crossword puzzle book
36. Visit 10 other libraries in my system I haven't been to yet
37. Write wills
38. Have new family picture taken
39. Send Christmas Cards with family photograph
40. Design library webpage & link to system and city
41. Beat PSX2 game Galaga
42. Watch all the seasons of '24'
43. Go to a Latin Mass
44. Plant 5 trees in yard (2/5)
45. Clothing 1
46. Learn how to play Cribbage
47. Bike around the lake
48. Get important documents in fire proof box
49. Fly first class as a family
50. Go see 5 Minnesota Tourist attractions
51. Get new glasses (or contacts)
52. Host big family Christmas (Done 26 December 2010)
53. Frame tree picture
54. Watch a Cowboys/Vikings game in Dallas
55. Watch Cowboys/Vikings game in Minnesota
56. Read 5 Biographies
57. Frame black & white pictures of the ocean and hang up
58. Learn the Rosary prayers
59. Walk everyday for 30 minutes for 1 week.
60. Host a Summer Croquet tournament
61. Link library webpage to librarysites
62. Health 1
63. Health 2
64. Health 3
65. Health 4
66. Watch all Seasons of MI-5
67. Read Twilight Series (3/4)
68. Read 5 Non-fiction books (2/5)
69. Read Inspector Lynley Series
70. Pay off and close Chase Visa. (APR adjustment, indeed)
71. Draw a master landscaping plan for yard
72. Get a chair for my library
73. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on FreeRice (13,700/1,000,000)
74. Donate 5 trees from answer4earth (5/5) (Done 16 July 2009)
75. Up Emergency Fund to 3 months salary
76. Get rockers/outdoor furniture for front porch
77. Make a 10 item anti-procrastination list (Done 5/23/09)
78. Do all 10 anti-procrastination list items within the month
79. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2004 (0/5)
80. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2005 (0/4)
81. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2006 (3/15)
82. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2007 (1/13)
83. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2008 (0/14)
84. Read all books on saved page a day calendar pages for 2009 (3/22)
85. Get curtains hung in last 2 bedrooms
86. Get a new desk/shelving unit for home library
87. Finish Kid’s room
88. Hang up 5 pictures
89. Donate to the Food Shelf 7 times ($25 or equivalent) (1/7)
90. Do the Locks of Love one more time
91. Leave a 100% tip 3 times (2/3)
92. Donate 50 of my books to the library (without reading them 1st) (50/50) (done 15 August 2009)
93. Put a $50 bill in the second collection basket (Done 14 November 2009)
94. Read the “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series by Lemony Snicket (6/13)
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finish writing this list--Again
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Speaking of Opportunities...
Most weekday nights, since last fall, there are 5 people doing homework in this house. Me, the Kid, and 3 young gentlemen. The young men are sons of family friends whose parents asked if we could tutor them to help bring up their grades as a couple of them were failing classes, and one was on the brink (2 are brothers, the other is their friend). Unhesitatingly, we said yes. We started off with just the 2 brothers, and added the 3rd guy midway through the second quarter.
When the guys first started coming over, it was obvious that they were only here because they HAD to be here. If given their choice, they'dve stayed home for sure (and I can't blame them). But as time has gone on, the change in both themselves and their grades has been nothing short of awesome. It could be our insistence on high standards--they were happy with D's, but I told them that anything less than a C is unacceptable. It could be that they just needed somebody to care who isn't their parents. Either way, it's working. Nobody got below a C- this term, and 1 almost made the B Honor Roll. For the first time EVER. [edited to update: the younger brother ended up getting 2 D's...but we'll let him live. For now.]
A couple of nights ago, the 2 older ones were talking about their futures. They're both juniors this year, and thought that because their GPA's were so messed up from an assortment of low and/or failing grades that they didn't have a whole lot of options. It was interesting listening to them talk about it all. One wants to go into the Army after high school, the other doesn't know what he wants, but is pretty sure he doesn't want to go into the military. I told them both that their GPA's are high enough to get them into a community college, and if they did well enough, they could transfer to a university after. Right now, though, that's beyond their ken.
As I was turning that conversation over in my head later that night, I realized that I really am lucky to have this second chance at a college education. It's not so much that I'll be a 'real' librarian, no, it's more that by having a degree, so many more doors are open for me. When I was younger, my mom told me that it's every generation's wish and duty to push the next generation just a bit further than where the family was now. She was the first person in her family to graduate from college. For me, then, it was never a question of "if you're going to college", it was a "when you go to college". And the same goes for my daughter. She's really smart and will have colleges and universities (and probably the military) actively trying to recruit her. Her opportunities, at this point, are vast. And, it doesn't hurt that she's looking at going into environmental engineering either.
So, yeah. I hate homework, always have, probably always will. But, man almighty am I glad for what I'll get out of it all--a nice diploma at the end. No guarantees, true, but a whole lot of opportunities.
When the guys first started coming over, it was obvious that they were only here because they HAD to be here. If given their choice, they'dve stayed home for sure (and I can't blame them). But as time has gone on, the change in both themselves and their grades has been nothing short of awesome. It could be our insistence on high standards--they were happy with D's, but I told them that anything less than a C is unacceptable. It could be that they just needed somebody to care who isn't their parents. Either way, it's working. Nobody got below a C- this term, and 1 almost made the B Honor Roll. For the first time EVER. [edited to update: the younger brother ended up getting 2 D's...but we'll let him live. For now.]
A couple of nights ago, the 2 older ones were talking about their futures. They're both juniors this year, and thought that because their GPA's were so messed up from an assortment of low and/or failing grades that they didn't have a whole lot of options. It was interesting listening to them talk about it all. One wants to go into the Army after high school, the other doesn't know what he wants, but is pretty sure he doesn't want to go into the military. I told them both that their GPA's are high enough to get them into a community college, and if they did well enough, they could transfer to a university after. Right now, though, that's beyond their ken.
As I was turning that conversation over in my head later that night, I realized that I really am lucky to have this second chance at a college education. It's not so much that I'll be a 'real' librarian, no, it's more that by having a degree, so many more doors are open for me. When I was younger, my mom told me that it's every generation's wish and duty to push the next generation just a bit further than where the family was now. She was the first person in her family to graduate from college. For me, then, it was never a question of "if you're going to college", it was a "when you go to college". And the same goes for my daughter. She's really smart and will have colleges and universities (and probably the military) actively trying to recruit her. Her opportunities, at this point, are vast. And, it doesn't hurt that she's looking at going into environmental engineering either.
So, yeah. I hate homework, always have, probably always will. But, man almighty am I glad for what I'll get out of it all--a nice diploma at the end. No guarantees, true, but a whole lot of opportunities.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Ten Things I Like About Grad School
Since my friend Chris recently asked if I'd ever said anything positive about Grad School, I've been thinking about it all. And here's what I came up with.
Ten Things I Like About Grad School
1. It's made me a better librarian: When I started grad school, I really was just marking time until I got the piece of paper that said that I was qualified to do what I’d been doing for many years—be a librarian. I did just fine before, yes. After going through the MLIS program at both St Kate’s and UW-M, I can honestly say that I’ve become a better librarian. Sadly, most of the head librarians in the library system for which I work do not have MLIS degrees, and neither do most of the people who work at headquarters. But, I’m glad I will have mine.
2. I learned something from every class: Every single class I’ve taken has taught me something, even the really awful ones. I have tremendously enjoyed the ones that I find useful, such as any based around books (Reader’s Advisory, Literature for Children, YA Lit, and Multicultural Literature) and technology based ones (Library 2.0, Internet Fundamentals). I even liked the Early Books and Manuscripts class, even though it was an 8 am class in the winter.
The classes that I didn’t like, well, I learned things from them too. I learned that my innate mistrust and dislike of group projects can be tempered if I’m with a good group. I learned that I don’t want to be in management. Ever. I learned that I have no future in doing research proposals, nor do I particularly care.
3. I can conquer any mountain, 15 weeks at a time: The start of every term, although I’m apprehensive, I’m also normally intrigued as to how a class can go. Sometimes, though, by the middle of the term, it’s all I can do to keep going. But, each time I’ve made it. So far, anyway. It’s all about persistence and the refusal to give in, give up, and go home.
4. Improvement in my time management skills: Yeah, going to college, having a family, trying to have a normal life…there’s only so many hours in the day. I have used lists, calendars, post-its, and basically anything I can to map out what’s due when. Mostly that’s how I operate when I’m in school. One step at a time. On one of my Facebook status updates I once wrote, “School is like a crucible. It burns away all the unnecessary things in my life. Including, apparently, my sanity.” And really, that’s pretty much it. I have figured out what and who I need to make me happy. The rest is just gravy (Or frosting. I don’t like gravy very much).
5. Rise in self-confidence: I know there are some who would say perhaps I have a bit too MUCH self-confidence, and that’s cool. But, this experience has made me realize that I really am smart, and that is very good.
When I was in high school, I was one of the “smart kids”. Thing is, I always saw myself as one of the “dumber of the smart kids”. Some of it was that I didn’t want to work hard (which made my Mom froth at the mouth—it was great), and some of it was that I was scared that someone would figure out that I really didn’t know what the hell I was doing and would kick me out of the group. My teachers and friends saw something in me that I couldn’t see, and God Bless Them All, they tried so hard to make me work up to my potential. But, they couldn’t drown out my inner voice that said, “You’re not good enough, Give it up.” It wasn’t until I got back into college (which I hadn’t finished the first time around, but that’s another story for another day) and did really well that I believed it.
6. Most classes are at night: I’m a night owl. I wasn’t when I was little, but that’s because my parents enforced early bedtimes (which sucked in the summer). Once I hit high school though, and had to stay up later to get homework done, I found that I think better at night. When I went back to college when I was 33, I went to school in the morning, worked in the afternoon, and did homework after the rest of the family went to bed. When I started grad school, most of the classes were at night. The ones that weren’t were at the god-awful time of 8am (I had a 1.5 hour commute. Those mornings were not pretty.), but I tried not to take very many of those. After all these years, once I am able to go back to civilian life, I’m just hoping I can re-set my sleep schedule to a more normal one.
7. It taught me that things don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be done: Ah, yes, The Cult of Done. The “B and Done” mindset. I’m a perfectionist. And inflexible. And the two don’t go well together. If I can just get started on something, then I’m usually fine. It’s the getting started that gets me every time, because I don’t think I’m ready to write the paper, do the research, project, whatever. So, I end up writing something at the last minute, and turning it in all the while kicking myself for the crappy work (and then when I get a “Great job!” from the professor, I think, “Yeah, but how much awesomer would that have been if I’d done a better job?!?!?”). The flip side is when I turn something in early: I spend the time thinking about all the things I should’ve added, done, said. Wait. I do that either way…
But the “Cult of Done” and “B and Done” mentality at least frees me to just DO IT. And you know what? I still do OK. And, it’s DONE.
8. It’s reminded me that “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”: I won’t lie. I was 3 steps beyond being angry when we learned that no, St Kate’s was not going to get the hoped for accreditation and I’d have to transfer to UW-M and lose AN ENTIRE YEAR of credits. Oh, no. I was incandescent with rage. Are you KIDDING ME? WHY? Why does this kind of thing always happen to me (really, no lie)? At the orientation, I left no doubt in anyone’s mind who was present in that room that I WAS NOT AMUSED (and that I didn’t care about their stupid “matrix” either) that I had to take a whole year over, plus take competency exams.
But, at the end of this all, I’ve gotten to take some classes that either weren’t offered at St Kate’s, or I hadn’t been able to fit into my schedule before. And, I’ll walk out with a real MLIS that will be accepted everywhere.
9. My world has exponentially grown: Have I ever told you all why exactly I decided to become a librarian (for real, with a real MLIS)? No? Well, pull up a chair, because it’s a good story.
It’s not like I ever stood a chance to become something different, not really. When my Mom was pregnant with me, my Dad used to call me “Jerome” (who is the patron saint of Librarians). Mom said she didn’t know where in the world he came up with that because as far as she knew, neither of them knew a Jerome. Also, my mom worked in a book store, and my maternal grandmother had singlehandedly run her town’s library for many years. Genetics or Fate? Either way…
So, I used to get to read for fun, right? Well, one day, I ran out of books that I wanted to read. I started reading through the library I frequented. Seriously. I started at the A’s and just kept going. I was at about the P’s when I mentioned something about it to a friend, who was having the same problem. She said her library was selling Page-a-Day Book calendars for $5 and that she’d get us each one. We planned to read every book…which did not last long. But, there were some gems in that calendar. I started going to the library in the town I lived in, hoping to find some of the books (the library was not online at that point). The librarian asked me if I wanted to be on the library board, so I said, “Sure, why not?” After a couple of months, she said that it appeared that I knew my way around a library and asked if I wanted to be a substitute and work at the library once or twice a month. “Sure, why not?” It was fun, and as time went on, I got more and more hours and became a regular employee.
The assistant director of the library system came to the library to help when we were getting everything barcoded for the imminent jump to the new automated system; for whatever reason, she took an interest in me, and from that point on became my unofficial mentor. She “strongly suggested” that I go through the Minnesota Voluntary Certification program for library workers (and by that I mean whenever a workshop was coming up, she’d send the flyer to the library addressed to me specifically. Yes, I went. And finished the program.) At one point, she flat out told me to go back to school. She said that to be a head librarian in the system, I’d need at least a 2 year degree. At that point I hadn’t thought about being a head librarian, but went along with it. Once I was done with my 2 year associates, I decided to keep going and get the MLIS, because that way I could work anywhere as a librarian. And so I’ve endured almost 8 years of school so I could get this degree. The End.
Also, the things that I've learned have led me to really cool discoveries. I have such a huge to-be-read list that I joke that I can never die. There's so much that I want to learn about now. It's a far cry from having to read through the library because I can't find anything good to read. I've met some really awesome online friends that I wouldn't have had I not taken classes like Library 2.0 (or done the 23 Things on a Stick) and had to use Twitter/Facebook/other social media.
10. The camaraderie and the friendships: I hope to always remember that first day in Intro to Libraries (one of the 8am classes) when Professor Cathcart said, “I want you to take the time to introduce yourselves to each other. You are going to be colleagues, and maybe friends.” At the time, I was still an undergrad at St Kate’s, and felt out of my depth because everyone else was already done with their undergrad degrees. I am fairly reserved when I first meet people (yes, really), so this was 2 steps beyond painful for me. I remember thinking, “But I don’t CARE about these people. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be friends with any of them. And none of them are going to work out where I do.”
Funny how that works out though. In fact, it was my first 2 classes that I took that term (the intro class & Intro to Reference) that I found my people.
Seriously, who would have thought I’d become friends with Chris (who DID sleep through that 8am Intro class plenty of mornings, but is always the logical one of the 2 of us), Kay (who was a ‘let’s sit on the dark side of the room’ partner in crime), Lindsay (the voice of reason…and hilariously funny on Twitter), Beth (Back row of Reference, represent), Christie, Cary (who once he saw the light, moved to the back row in Reference class—long live Twins games on the laptop), Janelle, Katy (“Why is it I always get the mean looks for something you did?” “Because I know when to duck and look like I’m paying complete attention”), Stan, and all the rest.
I have been so lucky to go through grad school with these people. Really. I don’t think I’dve made it without them. Would I have gotten to know them in my “normal” life? Probably not. Is my life immeasurably richer for them? Damn straight.
So, thank you, Chris, for calling me out on my bad attitude about school. Honestly, getting to go back to college, and then getting to go to grad school was an opportunity that not many people have, and for which I am so thankful. It's good to remember why.
Ten Things I Like About Grad School
1. It's made me a better librarian: When I started grad school, I really was just marking time until I got the piece of paper that said that I was qualified to do what I’d been doing for many years—be a librarian. I did just fine before, yes. After going through the MLIS program at both St Kate’s and UW-M, I can honestly say that I’ve become a better librarian. Sadly, most of the head librarians in the library system for which I work do not have MLIS degrees, and neither do most of the people who work at headquarters. But, I’m glad I will have mine.
2. I learned something from every class: Every single class I’ve taken has taught me something, even the really awful ones. I have tremendously enjoyed the ones that I find useful, such as any based around books (Reader’s Advisory, Literature for Children, YA Lit, and Multicultural Literature) and technology based ones (Library 2.0, Internet Fundamentals). I even liked the Early Books and Manuscripts class, even though it was an 8 am class in the winter.
The classes that I didn’t like, well, I learned things from them too. I learned that my innate mistrust and dislike of group projects can be tempered if I’m with a good group. I learned that I don’t want to be in management. Ever. I learned that I have no future in doing research proposals, nor do I particularly care.
3. I can conquer any mountain, 15 weeks at a time: The start of every term, although I’m apprehensive, I’m also normally intrigued as to how a class can go. Sometimes, though, by the middle of the term, it’s all I can do to keep going. But, each time I’ve made it. So far, anyway. It’s all about persistence and the refusal to give in, give up, and go home.
4. Improvement in my time management skills: Yeah, going to college, having a family, trying to have a normal life…there’s only so many hours in the day. I have used lists, calendars, post-its, and basically anything I can to map out what’s due when. Mostly that’s how I operate when I’m in school. One step at a time. On one of my Facebook status updates I once wrote, “School is like a crucible. It burns away all the unnecessary things in my life. Including, apparently, my sanity.” And really, that’s pretty much it. I have figured out what and who I need to make me happy. The rest is just gravy (Or frosting. I don’t like gravy very much).
5. Rise in self-confidence: I know there are some who would say perhaps I have a bit too MUCH self-confidence, and that’s cool. But, this experience has made me realize that I really am smart, and that is very good.
When I was in high school, I was one of the “smart kids”. Thing is, I always saw myself as one of the “dumber of the smart kids”. Some of it was that I didn’t want to work hard (which made my Mom froth at the mouth—it was great), and some of it was that I was scared that someone would figure out that I really didn’t know what the hell I was doing and would kick me out of the group. My teachers and friends saw something in me that I couldn’t see, and God Bless Them All, they tried so hard to make me work up to my potential. But, they couldn’t drown out my inner voice that said, “You’re not good enough, Give it up.” It wasn’t until I got back into college (which I hadn’t finished the first time around, but that’s another story for another day) and did really well that I believed it.
6. Most classes are at night: I’m a night owl. I wasn’t when I was little, but that’s because my parents enforced early bedtimes (which sucked in the summer). Once I hit high school though, and had to stay up later to get homework done, I found that I think better at night. When I went back to college when I was 33, I went to school in the morning, worked in the afternoon, and did homework after the rest of the family went to bed. When I started grad school, most of the classes were at night. The ones that weren’t were at the god-awful time of 8am (I had a 1.5 hour commute. Those mornings were not pretty.), but I tried not to take very many of those. After all these years, once I am able to go back to civilian life, I’m just hoping I can re-set my sleep schedule to a more normal one.
7. It taught me that things don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be done: Ah, yes, The Cult of Done. The “B and Done” mindset. I’m a perfectionist. And inflexible. And the two don’t go well together. If I can just get started on something, then I’m usually fine. It’s the getting started that gets me every time, because I don’t think I’m ready to write the paper, do the research, project, whatever. So, I end up writing something at the last minute, and turning it in all the while kicking myself for the crappy work (and then when I get a “Great job!” from the professor, I think, “Yeah, but how much awesomer would that have been if I’d done a better job?!?!?”). The flip side is when I turn something in early: I spend the time thinking about all the things I should’ve added, done, said. Wait. I do that either way…
But the “Cult of Done” and “B and Done” mentality at least frees me to just DO IT. And you know what? I still do OK. And, it’s DONE.
8. It’s reminded me that “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”: I won’t lie. I was 3 steps beyond being angry when we learned that no, St Kate’s was not going to get the hoped for accreditation and I’d have to transfer to UW-M and lose AN ENTIRE YEAR of credits. Oh, no. I was incandescent with rage. Are you KIDDING ME? WHY? Why does this kind of thing always happen to me (really, no lie)? At the orientation, I left no doubt in anyone’s mind who was present in that room that I WAS NOT AMUSED (and that I didn’t care about their stupid “matrix” either) that I had to take a whole year over, plus take competency exams.
But, at the end of this all, I’ve gotten to take some classes that either weren’t offered at St Kate’s, or I hadn’t been able to fit into my schedule before. And, I’ll walk out with a real MLIS that will be accepted everywhere.
9. My world has exponentially grown: Have I ever told you all why exactly I decided to become a librarian (for real, with a real MLIS)? No? Well, pull up a chair, because it’s a good story.
It’s not like I ever stood a chance to become something different, not really. When my Mom was pregnant with me, my Dad used to call me “Jerome” (who is the patron saint of Librarians). Mom said she didn’t know where in the world he came up with that because as far as she knew, neither of them knew a Jerome. Also, my mom worked in a book store, and my maternal grandmother had singlehandedly run her town’s library for many years. Genetics or Fate? Either way…
So, I used to get to read for fun, right? Well, one day, I ran out of books that I wanted to read. I started reading through the library I frequented. Seriously. I started at the A’s and just kept going. I was at about the P’s when I mentioned something about it to a friend, who was having the same problem. She said her library was selling Page-a-Day Book calendars for $5 and that she’d get us each one. We planned to read every book…which did not last long. But, there were some gems in that calendar. I started going to the library in the town I lived in, hoping to find some of the books (the library was not online at that point). The librarian asked me if I wanted to be on the library board, so I said, “Sure, why not?” After a couple of months, she said that it appeared that I knew my way around a library and asked if I wanted to be a substitute and work at the library once or twice a month. “Sure, why not?” It was fun, and as time went on, I got more and more hours and became a regular employee.
The assistant director of the library system came to the library to help when we were getting everything barcoded for the imminent jump to the new automated system; for whatever reason, she took an interest in me, and from that point on became my unofficial mentor. She “strongly suggested” that I go through the Minnesota Voluntary Certification program for library workers (and by that I mean whenever a workshop was coming up, she’d send the flyer to the library addressed to me specifically. Yes, I went. And finished the program.) At one point, she flat out told me to go back to school. She said that to be a head librarian in the system, I’d need at least a 2 year degree. At that point I hadn’t thought about being a head librarian, but went along with it. Once I was done with my 2 year associates, I decided to keep going and get the MLIS, because that way I could work anywhere as a librarian. And so I’ve endured almost 8 years of school so I could get this degree. The End.
Also, the things that I've learned have led me to really cool discoveries. I have such a huge to-be-read list that I joke that I can never die. There's so much that I want to learn about now. It's a far cry from having to read through the library because I can't find anything good to read. I've met some really awesome online friends that I wouldn't have had I not taken classes like Library 2.0 (or done the 23 Things on a Stick) and had to use Twitter/Facebook/other social media.
10. The camaraderie and the friendships: I hope to always remember that first day in Intro to Libraries (one of the 8am classes) when Professor Cathcart said, “I want you to take the time to introduce yourselves to each other. You are going to be colleagues, and maybe friends.” At the time, I was still an undergrad at St Kate’s, and felt out of my depth because everyone else was already done with their undergrad degrees. I am fairly reserved when I first meet people (yes, really), so this was 2 steps beyond painful for me. I remember thinking, “But I don’t CARE about these people. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be friends with any of them. And none of them are going to work out where I do.”
Funny how that works out though. In fact, it was my first 2 classes that I took that term (the intro class & Intro to Reference) that I found my people.
Seriously, who would have thought I’d become friends with Chris (who DID sleep through that 8am Intro class plenty of mornings, but is always the logical one of the 2 of us), Kay (who was a ‘let’s sit on the dark side of the room’ partner in crime), Lindsay (the voice of reason…and hilariously funny on Twitter), Beth (Back row of Reference, represent), Christie, Cary (who once he saw the light, moved to the back row in Reference class—long live Twins games on the laptop), Janelle, Katy (“Why is it I always get the mean looks for something you did?” “Because I know when to duck and look like I’m paying complete attention”), Stan, and all the rest.
I have been so lucky to go through grad school with these people. Really. I don’t think I’dve made it without them. Would I have gotten to know them in my “normal” life? Probably not. Is my life immeasurably richer for them? Damn straight.
So, thank you, Chris, for calling me out on my bad attitude about school. Honestly, getting to go back to college, and then getting to go to grad school was an opportunity that not many people have, and for which I am so thankful. It's good to remember why.
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